# Who has to defend their hobby?



## rich16

How many of you have a spouse / partner / room mate / that does not really understand your addiction? You know - the one who doesn't get why you need to feed your "sucker fish" zucchini and peas, or why you don't get a "pretty goldfish" for your SA biotype tank. 

Or, why you needed to spend $that much$ on your fish  ?!?!

My wife is one of those - but she puts up with me (somewhat....) 

She did get me a $100 gift certificate from our LFS for Daddy's day, though! 

Her friend's husband just bought a motorcycle. I think my wife likes the tanks better.


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## Nicklfire

my wife hates it, she HATES all the fish stuff around the house all the time. She wanted me to get rid of every tank i've ever had lol.

When i move to my new place i'll have my man cave downstairs i will surly be setting up my 25 rimless, and if she does not like it.. then dont come downstairs!!


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## target

My wife is not as into it as I am, but doesn't ever harass me on the tank. She actually helps pick most of the fish, feeds them during the day while I am at work, and told me our house didn't feel like a home until I had the tank in the living room. She will, howver, prevent me from putting tanks in each room. LOL


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## Algae Beater

I am a nerd, but at the end of the day i have traveled the world (mostly for free) thanks to this industry. 

i seldom have to defend myself


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## tony1928

My wife doesn't mind as long as it doesn't get into her space (rest of the house). She says at least I'm not up to "no good." LOL. Thus, she's happy to live with my hobby.


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## rich16

I think my wife likes the fact that this hobby keeps me in the house. I coach soccer as well, so I'm out a lot!


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## rescuepenguin

my wife is addicted too


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## Tarobot

my girlfriend is really against MTS but everything i buy she wants me to BREED them cause BABYVERSION of anything is CUTE, how do i breed cherryshrimp, amanoshrimp, minnow, guppy, tetra all in the same 10g?!


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## STANKYfish

We are both very much addicted. My Father thinks we are wrecking our home with all the moisture. He won't even look at the tanks. Siblings think we "waste" too much money on our "stupid" tanks. Grandsons and friends love them as we do.


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## joker1535

My wife is actually scared of fish. She hates them. Always says my office smells like fish poo. And after doing a WC I need to take a shower before picking up my kid, or he could get some crazy fish disease, maybe even grow fins.  Crazy women


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## target

STANKYfish said:


> We are both very much addicted. My Father thinks we are wrecking our home with all the moisture. He won't even look at the tanks. Siblings think we "waste" too much money on our "stupid" tanks. Grandsons and friends love them as we do.


The way I look at it is, I don't golf, I don't play hockey, I don't have any other hobbies that take my money. As long as the cash isn't coming from something more important I don't feel bad for spending it.


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## Rayne

My wife will occasionally playfully make fun of me but in reality I think she likes the fish. She doesn't mind me spending money on it either as long as the other necessities are taken care of first. Like her clothing fund. \
Everyone needs a hobby IMO and every hobby costs money. I could be into hobbies that cost more and are far worse than liking to keep fish. Like shooting heroin.


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## roadrunner

I think it's time to defend women here a little bit. I have only couple of tanks (20G and 5G) and I still consider myself to be a beginner, especially when it comes to planted tank. My husband loves it and has this wonderful ideas for me - he already picked spot for a tank in every room (including kitchen). Only thing is, he doesn't know anything about aquarium stuff and I will be the only one taking care of it, like I am now )


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## discuspaul

Most of my friends are impressed by the hobby, and especially my discus. 
But when they ask how much this or that costs, and I tell them, they say: "Whoa- that's a lot of $$$"
Then I ask: : "Yeah - how much does your golf hobby cost you per year ?" 
Or to someone else:
"How much do you spend on your skiing hobby ?". 
And to another: "How much do you lay out for a sea cruise each year ? ".
Almost always, end of subject !


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## big_bubba_B

My ex use to threaten to turn my fish into sushi and i would just roll my eyes But my gf thinks my fish are awsome and gets excited when they do there mating dance.But with the recent deaths she is getting upset . And is realy pushing me to get into salt


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## CanadianCowbell

I kept saying no for a few years regarding getting fish. Then they changed the pet rules where we live and out of the options I only liked fish so we got our first tank. Very quickly we ended up with many small tanks cause I liked fish that wouldn't get along with his fish. Now we both have to work to keep the other in check when it comes to making fish and fish related purchases.

We have stopped trying to justify our hobby to anyone else and are now at that point where we are upgrading to larger tanks and combining tanks where possible. I see it as I don't drink, I don't smoke and I don't even have cable and I can't even begin to count up the amount of time I have spent just happily watching my fish in the past 7 months. 

Also, Aaron and I are both very hard people to buy for so I see it as we are adding a new item that can be purchased for us with a gift certificate for our local fish store


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## Ursus sapien

I'm happily single now, but back "when", my ex and I encouraged each others hobbies. Everyone needs something to keep the mind alive, relieve stress and allow the brain to run background contemplation programs. Without that, misery and irritability sets in. 
It's people without hobbies who die three years into retirement.


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## CRS Fan

I am currently seperated and going through a process of divorce from my spouse/ex, Dorothy. She really DID NOT LIKE my fish tanks but we still have a mutually respectful relationship. My next relationship will HAVE to be with a hobbyist !

Respectfully,

Stuart


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## Luc

For the longest time my parents were against me getting tanks they didn't understand why I liked fish more than a dogs haha But they saw I loved the hobby and just accepted it, but on the other hand my friends thing I'm a weirdo  It would be nice if one of em had tanks or was in the hobby so I could just talk about the hobby with em..... I wonder how I could convince em to start ? haha


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## spit.fire

my dad and sister are against it

my dads against anything that doesnt bring in money tho


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## monkE

My girl is pretty accepting of it, but as of now, this is my place.... she moves in in July, so we'll see how she really feels! I think i'm going to have to stop at 4 tanks in our 1 bedroom apartment!


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## CanadianCowbell

My dad actually was an aspiring hobbyist! Growing up he tried to get my sister and I into it but we (and our mom) liked cats and it was always a bad combination. He tried to do a pond out back with fish when I was in my teens but if it wasn't our cats it was the raccoons. At one point he had that thing close to air tight with all the stuff he kept using to try and keep the fish safe from the animals......and still all he ever managed to do was give the little thief(s) a good meal.


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## mortava

My partner is fairly accepting of my hobby... but I'm pretty sure still gets tense every time I start talking about adding another tank.


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## Luc

spit.fire said:


> my dad and sister are against it
> 
> my dads against anything that doesnt bring in money tho


Haha Same kinda I told him Ill try to breed shrimp but he just looked at me funny hahaha


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## Johnnyfishtanks

my wife hates fish


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## ThePhoenix

I had someone tell me the other day "keeping fish is the lonely mans hobby". 

I laughed! We all have friends, we all have things to do, we all have people to see.

Some of us MIGHT be lonely, but I certainly disagree that it applies to everyone.


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## Virual

IMO I Hear To Many People Tell Me They Have To Ask Permisson From There Spouse Or Significant Other To Buy Fish Or Fish Products.
IMO If Your Asking For Permisson Then You Need To Grow A Pair!
Lifes To Short To Have A Someone Make Decisons For You, Your Whole Life.
If The Person Your With Can't Understand Your Passion For Something, Then You Probably Shouldn't Be With That Person Anyways.
Do What Makes You Happy.


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## TomC

ThePhoenix said:


> I had someone tell me the other day "keeping fish is the lonely mans hobby".


 That could be said about pretty much any hobby that isnt based around groups. Lonely people look to find ways to fill the gaps, and a hobby can do that. But many people gravitate towards a hobby because it interests them, satisfies their curiosity, or fills a need to create. Personally I dont understand people who never have hobbies of any sort. It is as if they have no interest in the world around them.


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## rich16

Virual said:


> IMO I Hear To Many People Tell Me They Have To Ask Permisson From There Spouse Or Significant Other To Buy Fish Or Fish Products.
> IMO If Your Asking For Permisson Then You Need To Grow A Pair!
> Lifes To Short To Have A Someone Make Decisons For You, Your Whole Life.
> If The Person Your With Can't Understand Your Passion For Something, Then You Probably Shouldn't Be With That Person Anyways.
> Do What Makes You Happy.


True...
And, as a wise man once told me, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission..   Then again...happy wife, happy life...gotta find the balance


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## Tazzy_toon

At first my hubby didn't really quite "get it" but now he enjoys the tanks even if he doesn't see the whole picture like I do and wonders how I can just sit and stare at my tanks. lol But now he see's how much I enjoy it and he has learned to appreciate them as well.


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## Elle

Djamm got me into the hobby, but I don't think he expected the result, as I quickly developed major *large tank* MTS! Not cool when there are 2 people with MTS in the house. I do most of the maintenance on the tanks and the fish care, though.

We're really lucky that we both like this hobby. My family mostly think we're nuts, but my mom has warmed up to the trimac since he begs so artistically for food every time she visits.


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## The Guy

I'm a very lucky guy my wife loves our tanks and fish, even more so now that we are into SW and reefing. She often comes with me to J&L and we rarely come home without corals of some kind, and the best part for me "she buys them". YES!


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## rich16

^ Ha ha, nice work Laurie!

My wife has got to the point where she is picking out fish that she likes...she even cut zucchini for the plecos the other night. The kids really like the tanks - my 8 year old likes the plecos the best, my 6 year old loves his betta - so between that and those that come over admiring the tanks, she's wearing down. I may yet convert her! 

She no longer cringes when I tell her about up-sizing the cichlid tank, and adding a SW set up. Gotta move the father-in-law out of the basement first though...


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## tony1928

My wife still rolls her eyes at me when I bring home new stuff for the tanks but I do find her making fishy faces at the fish when she thinks I'm not looking.  I think she's wearing down.


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## SeaHorse_Fanatic

My wife no longer even comments when I bring home "another" coral or fish. She knows I'm OCD and at least with corals, if I frag, I can use the $$ to cover some of the fish-related costs. However, she can't really say much anyways since when we first got married, she's the one who wanted me to set up an aquarium and then she's the one who insisted on a "Nemo" tank. I also have no other major expenses or addictions to occupy my time & use up my $$ so her main rule is that the tanks have to look nice. If I start neglecting them and they look like crap, then I either tear it down and sell it or clean it up. 

When Felicia was born, I was approaching 700g of mainly sw tanks in our small 2 bedroom groundfloor suite. She wanted me to shut down the big tank (210g reef) but I made her a deal that if the baby didn't like the fish, then I would consider it (now that's a sucker's bet cause babies love the colour & motion of beautiful sw fish). By the time Felicia was two my serious MBTS (Multiple, Big Tank Syndrome) was in full gear but again it was her fault since she told my friend Richard he could set up his 220g sw in my living room when HE asked (I didn't even bother asking her cause I "knew" she would say no - boy was I wrong). So I was at over 850g+ by that time. 

The reality was that I knew with the second baby on the way, I had to get my own MBTS under control and sold off most of my bigger systems and am now "content" with a 165g reef, 2' cube "Nemo" tank, and RedSeaMax130 reef/Bangaii breeding tank.

So I am luckier than most in that my spouse actually likes the hobby and probably only wishes I would spend less $$ on it, but she knows I don't ever buy unless its a good deal. I really advise you'all with kids or planning to start a family to encourage the kids to get involved, then the spouse will be more okay with it since its something kids & parent(s) can enjoy together.

Felicia, for instance, has been helping with every water change since she was two (holding the hoses) and she comes with me every week to the LFS or to other reefers' homes when I buy/trade stuff. BTW, every new tank that comes into the home is now "Felicia's" new tank, NOT Daddy's:bigsmile:

Anthony


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## bugaboo433

My husband doesn't like animals of any kind & told me he hates the tanks & fish cause it takes away from me cleaning the house instead. Know what I told him to do, ha ha. I would love to have a partner that was into it also, everyone that does, enjoy & appreciate!!


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## AcidFear

My girlfriend says she doesn't like my tanks but I am pretty sure she is just saying that so I don't get any more every time we go to the fish store shes always trying to pick out fish for me to get and ive caught her talking to the fish a few times...

the guys I work with tend to bug me about it tho


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## Lamplighter

I don't think keeping fish is an addiction. I enjoy my angelfish but the discus has been a pain.

My housekeeper always goes downstairs to look at my fish. There are about 600+ at the moment. I can do whatever I like and I'm rapidly expanding. I've set up two additional 55 gallon tanks today they'll soon be ready for more fish. There's a lot of space here so I can expand. There's no one to share what I have or give me a bad time. I have three large tanks in my bedroom and I like the constant three dimensional motion.


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## Vancitycam

My wife is great, she encourages me but still thinks I'm a little nuts. So I set her up a nano planted on the kitchen counter  with guppy fry(thanks mikebike) and that set the hook after watching the tank come full circle with plants and baby's to adults. Now it's the lwanda breeding group that's on the go now she seems to like it.


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## AKAmikeross

rich16 said:


> I think my wife likes the fact that this hobby keeps me in the house.


+1, My wife actually told me this last week lol.


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## Sidius

My future wife likes my fish and supports my hobby but she's never happy to hear me talk about spending more money on adding another large tank. I want to do both a planted hi-tech tank and a SW reef but all she hears is $$$ being spent. I understand her perspective though. This hobby is not cheap. I'm the type that likes to go all out on anything I do, so I get why she's worried when she hears about more tanks that I want to build. That being said, she's excited to get my 180g up and running in our new place. She wants to pick out a pleco or two and wants me to get some clown loaches. She even bought me a new LED light setup for my birthday.


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## April

Bring flowers home every time you buy a fish or more supplies.


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## scott tang

boath my brother and sister hate it because they get draged along to the fish store once a week lol my dad likes fw fish and me and my mom boath enjoy reefing altho shes not the colector i am 
my gf and i have had an agree ment since she had ask " whats a coral '' ? after trying to explain it was not an under water plant i gave up. i dont talk about fish stuff she doesnt talk about makeup. works for me haha


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## Reckon

For my wife, she somewhat enjoys the tanks but she also reminds me she's a reasonable person. As long as we keep our humidity and budget down, I don't jam our limited space with more tanks, and I give her attention we're good 

I do think that most reasonable spouses will be ok with 1-2 tanks, depending on how much real estate they take up.


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## Dawna

My sister doesn't care, but my parents sometimes get annoyed. My dad minds because it involves money, he minds anything i do that is over 20$. My mom minds because she thinks as a young female, I should be out there buying clothes instead of buying plants, fishes and tanks. Shes more of the girly type of mom that is into fashion and gossips....so she wish I would be more "girly" as well...but...ya.. I picked worms from dirt to feed my turtles instead of picking outfits xD HA


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## kacairns

Reckon said:


> For my wife, she somewhat enjoys the tanks but she also reminds me she's a reasonable person. As long as we keep our humidity and budget down, I don't jam our limited space with more tanks, and I give her attention we're good
> 
> I do think that most reasonable spouses will be ok with 1-2 tanks, depending on how much real estate they take up.


Where do you find one of these reasonable wives? I must of missed the ad!


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## skabooya

OMG all the time from practically everyone! My husband is so much better than he was. I will sometimes catch him staring at my tank and counting the fish lol. So long as the fish inside the tank are of interest to him then he pays a little attention. More so now because of my SW tank. My mom complains that tanks are too much work and I am overworking myself as it is. She and my inlaws do not want me to have anymore responsibilities than I already have. They have also told me that they are a waste of time. When I see my son and daughter "playing" with the fish and counting them, talking to them, describing them, feeding them, etc then it makes it even more worth while for me.
I currently have my planted 32gal in the living room, a 28 long SW in my office, 5 gal cylinder opae ula in my office as well, 5 gallon in my sons room (white cloud named "nine" and two shrimp "bunny tart" and "Glargly"... he named them lol), AND a 10 gallon in my classroom with Endlers and plants . I want to add another 10 gallon but as a Terrarium with Carnivorous plants for next year


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## pandakami

My boyfriend never specified if he loves my hobby, to be honest. xD He did, however, say that if it makes me happy, he'll support it. He's gone and helped me name some of the first fish I had xD (they are temporary for they are in my 20g till they grow up a bit then the real owner takes them back. The owner just needed a place for them while he got a bigger tank set up.) And to him, fish are cheaper than some of the other pets I wanted to have. (I'm a huge animal lover.) I have a puppy as well and I constantly catch him laying in front of the tank watching the fish swim around and the scene is just too adorable. 

My mother however, has ultra-sensitive smell so I have to constantly clean my 20g (Wait till i get my 5g in my room too. I bet she'll have a fit.) But the only thing she complains about is that she wants my current fish gone because they're owner is her ex. Long story short there. She also thinks I have a huge money problem (no arguments there) and she doesn't want me spending all my money. Also doesn't realize that there can be some money coming back from fry.. But yeah I only really have to defend it from my mom. Everyone else in my life doesn't care or supports me.


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